Pound Cake

I make a mean pound cake. 

A kick-ass-take-no-prisoners-best-pound-cake-you've-ever-eaten-

omigod-gimme-another-piece-right-this-goddamn-second pound cake. 

If only they made scratch 'n sniff screens.

It is delicious. 

You want a giant slice.

It is the perfect texture. 

Admit it, you're drooling.

It is buttery and vanilla-y. 

You're licking the screen right now aren't you?

It is everything a pound cake should be, down to the recipe being in the name: one pound of each ingredient (except salt and vanilla, obviously because, well, that would be fucking disgusting). 

Cake's just, like, butter n sugar n eggs n flour.

It contains no leavening, no baking powder, no baking soda, no yeast.
There is no milk, no cream, no sour cream, no cream cheese.
It is a traditional pound cake in every sense.

The key to a perfect pound cake is two-fold:
1- you must use a scale to weigh out all of your ingredients*
2- you must use the proper technique to bring those ingredients together.

I use a stand mixer (mine happens to be a Kitchen Aid Pro that my darling husband bought me lo on many years ago for our first Christmas). If you only have a hand mixer, I hope it's a good one, because you'll burn out the cheapies if you do any serious baking. You could go truly old-school and make this by hand, but, I, for one, although I am crazy when it comes to baking, am not going to mix anything by hand unless it's something that comes together stupid easy, like chocolate chip cookies.

*After baking about a dozen or so and weighing the eggs each time, I've found that nine large eggs basically always come out to right at a pound, so now I "cheat" and just count out nine large eggs instead of weighing those.

First thing for just about every baking recipe is to preheat the oven to 350F (175-180C).

Prepare a large bundt or tube pan or three 9" loaf pans by spraying generously with a flour-cooking spray product for baking (I use PAM with flour for baking). If you want to use one of the smaller bundt pans that Nordicware makes (and I have several that I do love, in fact I used two in the bake for the pics here), you can either cut down the recipe to 2/3 or bake the extra batter in a loaf or in cupcake tins.

The trick to making sure you've got enough spray on there is to spray it until you think you've got enough and then give it another good coat. This is especially important with the more decorative pans, make sure you get it in all of those nooks and crannies so the design isn't ruined by the cake sticking.

Place one pound of room temperature unsalted butter into the mixing bowl and beat until creamy. Then slowly add the sugar while the mixer is running on lowish speed. Increase the speed and beat the ever-loving crap out of it.

On my stand mixer, I set it on a 6 and just let it go for about five minutes, maybe a little longer if the kitchen is on the cool side.

This is where most people trying to bake a cake from scratch go wrong. They just don't beat the snot out of the butter and sugar and then their cake is fail. I blame directions like "cream butter and sugar." See, I know that that means to beat them until they resemble soft whipped cream because I've been doing this for a while now. Most people see that and just mix them until they are combined and move on. What they don't realize is that this step is crucial to making a cake from scratch. Properly creaming the butter and sugar coats each granule of sugar in butterfat (mmm...delicious, delicious butterfat) and when the cake bakes this turns into magic. Or something. I honestly don't know the exact science behind it. All I know is that it works. This is what you want your butter and sugar to look like:

See how it's cream-like? Basically, it kinda looks like slightly curdled mayo. If your butter and sugar don't look like this you haven't beat them enough. I stop the mixer about half way through this process and give the bowl a good scrape down with a rubber spatula to make sure there's no butter stuck to the sides or bottom that isn't getting in on the action.

Add nine room temperature eggs, each egg one at a time. Beat the mixture until the egg is completely incorporated before adding the next egg. Yes, really do take the time to add each egg in this manner. You are building an emulsion, which is a fancy way of saying you are mixing together fatty stuff and liquidy stuff and those things don't like to be mixed, but if you do it just right they hold together in this special, creamy awesome way.

Now you can toss in a half teaspoon of salt (to be honest, I guestimate this and most of the time I just use a generous pinch of Kosher salt, but I've done enough cooking and baking to know what a half teaspoon of table salt or the equivalent weight of Kosher looks and feels like without getting out the measuring spoons) and a tablespoon of vanilla bean paste or extract and carefully stir in one pound of flour.

Mix until you don't see any streaks of flour. You don't want to over beat it at this point because flour has this stuff called gluten in it and it starts to develop when flour gets wet.

Gluten is a good thing. It's what gives baked goods structure. But we're baking a cake here, not a loaf of bread, so we don't want too much gluten to develop.

Still, we need to have everything truly combined. I add the flour a little at a time on setting 1 because I don't want a flour bomb going off in my face. Once all the flour is in I go ahead and increase it to 6 for oh, maybe 15-20 seconds, then turn it off, scrape the sides down and scrape along the bottom, then give it another 15-20 seconds on 6.  That seems to do the trick. Before putting the batter in the pan I give it another good scrape all around the bowl, especially on the bottom.

The finished batter is super thick, almost, but not quite, as thick as a dough. Don't let that freak you out. Don't go thinking you need to add anything to thin it out or that the finished cake will be dry. Trust me, it doesn't need another thing! If you go adding anything else, what you'll have is a butter cake NOT a pound cake. It may end up being a very nice butter cake, but a butter cake it will be. We're not making butter cake here. We're making pound cake. So leave it alone!

Glop it all in the prepared pan and smooth out the top (it doesn't have to be perfect). Give your pan a good thwack on the counter to make sure the batter is evenly distributed. Put on the middle rack of the oven and bake for one hour (20-30 minutes for cupcakes, 30-45 minutes for loaves and smaller bundts). Remove from oven and cool in pan for 10 minutes. Remove from pan and place on a cooling rack and cool to room temperature before slicing. This will be very difficult to do because it will smell gorram delicious, but, seriously, wait until it's cooled to slice and eat it. It's worth the wait.

Yes, we did eat all of the little rosettes immediately. What?

Vanilla Pound Cake

Ingredients:
1 pound unsalted butter, room temp
1 pound granulated (white) sugar
1 pound unbleached all-purpose flour (I prefer King Arthur brand)
9 large eggs, room temp
1/2 tsp salt
1 tablespoon high-quality vanilla extract or vanilla bean paste (I use Nielsen Massey)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350F
Prepare pan(s) by spraying generously with a flour-cooking spray product for baking.
Place butter in mixing bowl and beat until creamy.
Slowly add sugar.
Increase speed and beat the ever-loving crap out of it.
Add each egg one at a time.
Add the salt and vanilla bean paste or extract and carefully stir in the flour.
Mix until thoroughly combined.
Transfer batter to the prepared pan(s).
Bake for one hour for a large bundt or tube pan. For 3 loaf pans or a small bundt, 30-45 min.
Remove from oven and cool in pan for 10 minutes.
Remove from pan and place on a cooling rack and cool to room temperature before slicing.

Cold Weather Meal: Chili and Cornbread

Yes, I know. I haven't posted since sometime in November. No, I am not going to explain why. I just haven't is all. It's my blog and I'll post when I damn well feel like it!

Winter has *finally* descended upon us here in Georgia. With the temps down in the 30's and 40's (don't laugh, that absolutely qualifies as cold on the outskirts of "Hotlanta") we need something to help keep us warm and I know nothing better to do that than a nice big pot of chili accompanied by a slice of warm-from-the-oven cornbread and that's exactly what I've got simmering and baking right now.

According to my nephews and my husband I make the best chili around. Of course, as long as they like it, I honestly don't care if anyone else doesn't! Give it a try. Even if you don't think it's the best around, I expect you'll like it!


Even better, it's a quick and easy meal to whip up and easily feeds a crowd even when that crowd includes four hungry boys (and we all know how much they can eat!).

So, without further ado, here's how I make it:

Brown about 2-1/2 pounds of ground chili meat with 1-1/2 teaspoons kosher salt and 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper.

While meat is browning, add 3 cups chopped onion (or 2 cups chopped onion and 1 cup chopped celery) and about one rounded tablespoon of minced garlic (about 3 large cloves).

Drain the meat and add six 16 ounce cans of beans. I usually use half light red kidney and half dark red kidney beans, but today I decided to do two cans each of light red, dark red, and white kidney beans (white kidney beans are also known as cannellini beans). A mix of kidney beans and black beans and/or pinto beans is also tasty! I drain and rinse the beans before adding them, much to my mother's horror (she described the gooey stuff in the can with the beans as "good stuff;" to me, it's "bean snot."), but if you read the ingredients on the can, the bean snot is just salt and dextrose, neither of which is needed in our finished chili. A-a-nd now that I've called it "bean snot" twice, you'll be rinsing it off from now on, too. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! The first step in my plan for world domination is complete!

Errr....Um, where was I? Oh, yeah...chili.

Now for the spices and herbs: 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons chili powder (Alton Brown's recipe), 2 tablespoons dried parsley, 1 tablespoon dried cilantro, 1 teaspoon each sweet and smoked paprika, 1 teaspoon red pepper flake, 1/2 teaspoon ground Indian red pepper or cayenne pepper, and (now here's where I tell you to add things that will make you think I'm nuts, but do it anyway, trust me, it works!) 1/4 teaspoon each ground cinnamon, cloves, and allspice.

Stir to evenly distribute the spices. Then add 14.5 ounces of low-sodium beef broth, one 28 ounce can diced tomatoes (do not drain!), and one 28 ounce can of plain tomato sauce. Stir in about one tablespoon of Cholula sauce (I just eyeball this so it may actually end up being closer to two) and two bay leaves, then cover and bring just to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for at least thirty minutes before serving.

Serve with sour cream, shredded Cheddar or Colby-Jack cheese and a generous slice of cheesey chile cornbread (keep reading for the recipe).

While the chili is simmering, make a pan of this delicious cheesey chile cornbread! Preheat oven to 425° F (220° C) and spray a 8x8 Pyrex dish with cooking spray.

This is a dead-simple recipe. Seriously, it'll take longer to gather all the ingredients than it will to mix up!

In a bowl, combine 1 cup each all-purpose flour and corn meal, 1 tablespoon baking powder, 2 tablespoon sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, 2 beaten eggs, 1/4 cup corn/vegetable/canola oil, 1 cup whole milk, 1 drained 7 ounce can of corn with sweet peppers, 1 drained 4 ounce can of green chiles, and 2 cups shredded cheese (Cheddar, Colby-Jack, or "Mexican" shredded cheese mix).

Mix until all of the dry ingredients are thoroughly moistened. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake for 25 minutes. Cover with a piece of heavy duty aluminum foil and bake for an additional 10-15 minutes.

If desired, sprinkle another cup of cheese over the top of the corn bread and place the pan under the broiler for about a minute to melt the cheese (my husband likes to break the cornbread up into his chili, so I didn't do that for this pan).

Hope you enjoy this meal as much as we do. Of course, as with most things I make, there's enough here to feed a small army or a few teenage boys!

Promise's Chili

Makes about 12 servings
Ingredients

2-1/2 lbs of ground chili meat 

3 cups chopped onion OR 2 cups chopped onion plus 1 cup chopped celery
3 lg cloves garlic, minced (abt 1 rounded tbsp)
6 16 oz cans of beans (dark red/light red kidney, white kidney, black, pinto) drained and rinsed

1 14.5 oz can low-sodium beef broth

1 28 oz can diced tomatoes

1 28 oz can plain tomato sauce

1 tbsp Cholula brand hot sauce

1-1/2 tsp kosher salt

1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1/4 c + 2 tbsp chili powder (Alton Brown's recipe)
2 tbsp dried parsley
1 tbsp dried cilantro
1 tsp each sweet and smoked paprika,
1 tsp red pepper flake
1/2 tsp ground Indian red pepper or cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp ground allspice
2 bay leaves

Directions

Brown meat with salt and pepper.
While meat is browning, add onion (or onion and celery) and garlic.
Drain the meat and add beans.
Add spices and herbs except bay leaves and stir to evenly distribute.
Then add beef broth, diced tomatoes (do not drain!), and plain tomato sauce.
Stir in Cholula sauce  and two bay leaves.
Cover and bring just to a boil.
Reduce heat and simmer for at least thirty minutes before serving.
Serve with sour cream, shredded Cheddar or Colby-Jack cheese and a generous slice of cheesey chile cornbread.

Cheesey Chile Cornbread

Ingredients
1 c all-purpose flour
1 c corn meal
1 tbsp baking powder
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2 beaten eggs
1/4 c corn/vegetable/canola oil
1 c whole milk
1 7 oz can of corn with sweet peppers, drained
1 4 oz can of green chiles, drained
2 c shredded cheese (Cheddar, Colby-Jack, or "Mexican" shredded cheese mix)

Directions
Preheat oven to 425° F (220° C) and spray a 8x8 Pyrex dish with cooking spray.
In a bowl, mix all ingredients with a spoon until all of the dry ingredients are thoroughly moistened. Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake for 25 minutes.
Cover with a piece of heavy duty aluminum foil and bake for an additional 10-15 minutes.
If desired, sprinkle another cup of cheese over the top of the corn bread and place the pan under the broiler for about a minute to melt the cheese.

Croque Monsieur

According to a Facebook post, today is National Sandwich Day. Good excuse to make sandwiches for dinner! But not just any kind of sandwich, tonight I made Croque Monsieurs. For those unfamiliar with this French-bistro staple, they're basically dressed up grilled ham and cheese, but this is absolutely a case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. Fortunately, they're not really all that complicated, well, for French food anyway.

What you'll need:

Soft butter (I used Land O'Lakes spreadable butter with canola)
Good bread (I used Italian bread from the bakery at our local Publix grocery store)
Ham deli meat (I used Boar's Head Virginia Ham)
Swiss cheese (I happened to have sliced on hand, but you can just use grated for both inside and on top) -- Gruyere and Emmentaler would be ideal, but you can use just about any kind of Swiss, I used Emmentaler and a block of regular generic Swiss for the top because I didn't feel like paying $10 for six ounces of cheese
All Purpose flour
White Pepper
Nutmeg
Ground Mustard Powder
Milk (neither the hubby nor I drink milk and we had heavy cream on hand, so I used it and it worked fine, so really milk, half-n-half, or cream can be used)

Step one: assemble sandwiches

Heat the ham (about 4 slices per sandwich for thin-sliced deli meat) in the microwave first
Butter one side of one slice of bread
Layer slices of Swiss or some of the grated Swiss and the ham and then top with butter slice of bread

Putting together sammies

Assembled sandwich ready to go into hot skillet

Step two: make the bechamel sauce

In a skillet over medium heat, melt one tablespoon of butter

Add one tablespoon of all purpose flour to the melted butter and whisk to combine

Cook flour-butter mixture for about 2 minutes

Add a pinch of nutmeg (freshly grated is always best) and about 1/4 tsp each of white pepper and ground mustard

Add one cup of milk (heat in microwave for 30 seconds before adding), whisking as you pour it into the skillet

Continue whisking until mixture thickens and is smooth

Remove from heat and set to side

Completed bechamel sauce

 Step three: cook sandwiches

Place sandwiches butter side down in a skillet that's been heated over medium-high heat.
Cook until golden and toasty. (I didn't get a pic of the sandwiches in the skillet, sorry!)
Transfer sandwiches to a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil, toasted side down.
Spread bechamel sauce (heaping tablespoonful) on the uncooked slice of bread.

Bechamel sauce topped sammies

 Then put a generous amount of grated Swiss cheese on top of the bechamel sauce.

Ready to broil!

 Place sandwiches on baking sheet in oven under the broiler and watch carefully. Broil until cheese is melted and bubbly.

Finished Croque Monsieurs

They will be way too hot to eat when they first come out of the oven, so let them cool for a couple minutes so you don't burn your mouth! I do recommend slicing on the diagonal to make them easier to eat.

I served these with Terra Exotic Potato Chips (normally I'd make my own Rosemary and Black Pepper Red Skin Potato Chips, but I didn't feel up to that today) and salads (basic garden for the hubby, salad of cucumber, red bell pepper, raw green beans, and tomato in vinaigrette for me).

Enjoy!